sometimes....

... I wish that I could just be happy.

You know, happy with myself. Happy with my life, my talents, my family.

I wish that I didn't always have to worry about what other people thought of me.

Today, my friend suggested that she didn't even like mentioning an 'anonymous' activity.

I said, "Hey, I think I'd like to try."

She said to me like I was the craziest person in the world, "why would you even LIKE to do that?"

I think my head exploded. All I tried to do was not to burst out crying or faint.

I have never been talked to like that in my whole life and it was all I could do not to run away.

I have a problem accepting who I am and at the moment I'm on really unsure footing.

I love pipstudio, I love mushrooms. I really, really, really love my pussy cat because she's the only one I can hug without a time limit. And I really love owls.

I really love music, and my singing voice. But if only I could use it...

I really love ballet but I'm not aloud to study it.

I like the color red. This friend that hurt me very badly today has touched my feelers and I've popped back into my shell. I don't know why it hurt me so badly, but perhaps it was just the way she talked to me as if I was useless.

If you've read this far, I know I can rely on you.

I know your initials are K.L.F.R and I really love your friendship. Please help me through this time

[Continue reading...]

hypothetically...

what would you do if I stopped blog posting for a very long time, until I felt really interested in it?

What if I did it for good reasons?

Like trying to finish school, concentrating on my studies, trying not to feel stressed?

What if I said that blogging makes me stressed and it's meant to be for me not for others?

What if I said that I need to concentrate on MY life and MY future?

If you have any comments about this then please comment.

Because this will most likely become more then a hypothetical situation.

[Continue reading...]