I'm incredibly sorry that I haven't been around for an extremely long time.
I promise to be more loyal in the future, now that my feet are steadily on the ground.
I thought, seeing as you're fellow petals, I should share how my life has changed since you last heard from me.
At the beginning of this year, I began my final year of grade 12. It's been tough, and very emotional, and I've learnt heaps about myself and my peers. I've had to figure things out by myself, and thought about what I'm going to do in the future.
Earlier this year, my sister passed away. I honestly don't know how to write about this because I haven't really expressed myself since then. I'm also a very introverted person and I keep my problems to myself. I don't like people looking at me in a different light, especially with sympathy.
One thing I've found difficult to cope with is how some people don't see how I need a bit of extra care. A little while ago I received some spare study time during our routine schedule at school. One of the girls in my class was outright jealous, and didn't seem to think that I too found it difficult to get out of bed in the morning.
I've been coping with depression, too, as well as the anxiety I've had all my life. The ups and downs are so different, and I've had many downs this year. But I've kept saying "just get through this day, this week, this term, this year". I've gotten this far and I'm proud.
I've learnt a lot of things about us as humans: the way we think and feel. When problems come our way, we make them as big as we let them. Some people let them creep up, surprising them, and drag them down into depths that they've never seen before. Others find their biggest problems the same size as others smallest. We simply need to give compassion to others, be there for them, and try to not to belittle their problems. Sure, a death is huge, but so is a bad mark or a fight with a loved one can be for another person.
I hope to keep you updated, my dear petals, on my life, and I'm sorry again for keeping you waiting for so long. Let's keep holding ourselves together, shall we?
[Continue reading...]
